Entry
Two
Eleanor wants to be able to feel important. She wants to
know that someone is there for her, and that she doesn’t need to worry. Eleanor
wants her mother to divorce her husband and not have to feel scared whenever
she steps into her own house. She wants the school girls to feel her pain and
embarrassment that she gets in the locker room as she changes into her gym
clothes. She wants her teachers to understand that she’s not the smartest and
that she can’t afford descent clothing. She wants to feel like she can fit in
with everyone around her, even though she might not look the best. She wants
Park to know that she isn’t like any other high school girl, that she’s grown
up in a terrible life and that she can’t do anything about it. She wants her
father to know that she doesn’t like his new wife, or their relationship with
each other. She wants the whole world to know that she will never be perfect,
or be able to fit in. She’s different and not in the good way. She’s shy, and
scared. She doesn’t get everything she wants, and she never will. A girl like
her will never get the attention that others find normal to have. Park wants
Eleanor to understand that he is here for her, and that he likes her more than just
a friend. He wants his parents to know that he’s learning and making mistakes, but
it won’t help if they just argue with him. He wants the school boys to know
that he’s not athletic, or sporty. He wants his younger brother to know that he’s
not going to ever be big and strong like. He wants his old girlfriend Tina to
know that he doesn’t like her anymore, and that she means nothing to him. He wants
his friend Cal to know that he’s not like everyone else, and that he will never
fit in. Some themes that are beginning to appear is loneliness and isolation.
Eleanor and Park are both feeling hidden into their shell, and can’t bear to
open up to anyone. When someone tries to become close with them all they can
ever seem to do is push them away. Eleanor and Park only seem comfortable with
each other. Not exactly opening up, but just being able to have someone to talk
to. It’s hard for Eleanor and Park to have a relationship with their family
members because they feel like an outsider ready to be made fun of. Their different
with each other. Another theme that is starting to appear is love. This
connection that Eleanor and Park have is unbreakable. I can feel the happiness
they have with each other. I can feel the warm butterflies in their stomach. Or
the pounding sound in their heart as they hold hands. It’s more than just any other
relationship. It’s not about going to the movies, or out to eat. It’s about
getting to know each other by listening to different bands, and reading their
favorite comic books. To hold a conversation for hours. To not have to buy
presents, or dress up to just lay on the floor and talk about life. It’s real. Rainbow
Rowell structures Eleanor and Park by having Eleanor’s perspective of what’s
going on, and Park’s perspective. The book goes back and forth between each other.
I really like that Rowell did this because I can see both their views of what
is going on in their head, and what’s happening throughout their day.
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